Biggest Loser Makeover Week November 20, 2009

It’s makeover week!  This is one of my favorite ‘episodes’ and they do it every season.
Everyone looks great- except…Amanda. She is just gross. She has only lost 48 pounds, which compared to everyone else on the show is pathetic.  They’ve all lost significant amounts of weight.  Liz has lost more than her. Rudy has lost over 100 pounds! Same with Danny!  The contestants each give inspirational speeches to a crowd of random people. I wonder how they find these groups. No one’s speech was that great…Rudy disclosed that he lost his sister to cancer…that was sad. They all struggle with food because of something traumatic in their lives.

 

Yikes, E! October 4, 2009

New show coming up on Oct. 11: Leave it to Lamas.

You may recall Shane Lamas, the contestant who won the heart of British Bachelor Matt in the London Calling season.  Or perhaps you know Lorenzo Lamas, the dumb jock Tom in Grease, Vince Black on Renegade, or more recently, Hector on The Bold and the Beautiful.  Well, their family got their own show.  Following the popular if not questionable antics of Keeping up with the Kardashians, E! has done it again (and they’re re-using the alliteration technique, too!)

I may not be able to resist.  You know I love the crappiest TV shows, and this one looks right up my alley!  Click HERE to see a trailer and visit the official page on the E! website.

Real World Cancun, Talk About a Dry Spell September 2, 2009

You know footage must be at a minimum and the season almost over when you take so many drama whore castmates going to Playa del Carmen, Vegas, and jail — and still have it be as dull as tonight’s episode of Real World Cancun.  Let’s recap:

— Bronne and CJ invent a girl named Lauren who they tell Joey replaced him in the house.  They convince Joey that she’s banging hot and really chill.  The relevance isn’t apparent until we see a preview for next week’s finale, when Joey returns to the ME to bid adieu along with the rest of the crew.

— Some guy talks shit to Derek on the bus, so CJ punches him.  The next day, the accuser points him out and he’s taken to jail for a supposedly 36-hour stay, but they bail him out with 1800 pesos.  Anticlamactic…

— The guys go to Vegas for CJ’s NFL punting tryouts (or something).  We don’t see them gambling at all, but supposedly they win $200.  Upon their return, Emilee gets jealous that she’s never been to Vegas, so she tap dances on Bronne’s zombie magazine, which causes him to call Ayiiia “Hitler” and Emilee “Mussolini”.  I don’t even know how that comparison was drawn but it seemed very out of place with the rest of the episode.  Emilee: need I remind you that you’re on a 4-month-long free vacation staying in an amazing suite in Cancun?  So what if you haven’t been to Vegas, you stupid twat.

— Jonna’s man-hungry ways are put under a microscope.  The girl’s a fucking slut — an insecure, immature slut who needs the companionship of a male to feel loved.  Does the situation require much more explanation than that?

Nothing else from this episode comes to mind.  The finale next week hopefully includes better footage than what we saw tonight.  Oh yeah, Bronne made a zombie video where he played all the parts.  Apparently it can be seen on mtv.com.

Next week: Joey comes back and hooks up with a roommate.  It’s probably Jonna (she likee the peen) but I’m thinking Emilee’s a good possibility too!

Real World Cancun: Threesomes to Hang-Ups in 2 Days August 26, 2009

For Jonna, her life on Real World Cancun is kind of like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days but she’s doing all the things you’re supposed to do in order to keep a man on the hook.  Then again, she kind of gave away the milk for free…

 

 Let’s look at the facts:

 

 – She breaks up with her boyfriend, Matt, to hook up with Pat and not feel guilty about it.  Matt tells her that she is soulless.  She doesn’t care because she’s living it up with dudes on the reg.  She has Derek help her remove all evidence of her and Matt’s relationship from her room so when Pat looks up while he’s banging her, he no longer sees her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend staring down at him.  Most of the roommates support her to her face but make fun of her behind her back, saying she’s ruined a good thing for a douche like Pat.

 

— Ayiiia decides she wants Jonna and manages to finagle her way into a threesome with her and Pat.  He’s (obviously) totally down, but both girls regret it afterwards for various reasons.  Pat leaves the next day to return to Toronto.  She says she doesn’t know where things will go from here but that she’s questioning whether she had real feelings for him. 

 

— Somewhere in the midst of this, an extremely awkward double date takes place with JR, Jasmine, Jonna, and Pat.  Emilee plays the role of 5th wheel/referee as Pat and Jasmine make inappropriately rude statements to one another all throughout what looked to be a lovely rustic Italian feast. 

 

What’s on Tonight: Thursday, 8/13 August 13, 2009

The only show that’s really on in general that I care about happens to be a Thursday program, and that’s Real Housewives of Atlanta.  But that will all change next week, because next week is what I have dubbed The Week of Bravo.  Next week is the premiere of Flipping Out, Top Chef Las Vegas, and Project Runway (no longer a Bravo show by technicality but I still consider it one).  Rachel Zoe and her new magically wrinkle-free face grace our screens one week from Monday on Aug. 24.  Once all of that comes to fruition, I will no longer have to bore you all with news about Ed and Jillian’s latest US Weekly cover-worthy scandal.

 

Daisy of Love Crowns a Winner Sunday July 22, 2009

I did take the time to watch tidbits from the clip show, and it sure didn’t make me feel any better about myself that I’ve seen a whole season’s worth of the silliness.  There was a great debate going on at my office last week about Daisy of Love vs. Rock of Love and some of the girls felt that Daisy of Love may very well be the trashiest television show in this horrific series of spinoffs.  I think the women on Rock of Love are far worse, however.  Especially this last season, Rock of Love Bus.

In case you didn’t know, it actually began with Flavor of Love, which turned into I Love New York and then Real Chance of Love.  Simultaneously, Rock of Love sprung up, going strong with 3 seasons under its belt and that funneled into Daisy of Love.  All these shows hybrid into I Love Money, Charm School, and now Megan Wants a Millionaire.  In being completely honest with you, I can say I’ve watched most of these programs.  I really do find them to be wildly entertaining.  I know they are insanely trashy — that’s what makes them fun.  When that woman shit on the floor on Flavor of Love, I nearly died.  It was one of the most hilarious moments I’ve ever witnessed on tv.  And I was at home, ogling my screen as history was made…reality history at least.

Did I Call It or What? June 24, 2009

Read this important briefing on the relationship that currently does not exist between Jacquelyn and Danielle.

http://www.usmagazine.com/news/real-housewives-jacqueline-and-danielle-no-longer-friends-2009246

On another note, no set of Housewives has EVER gotten an US Weekly cover before!  This is huuuuuuge!

DWTS Results Show 4/14 April 14, 2009

I just realized the irony in Lil’ Kim performing Jailhouse Rock, which the judges asked for a repeat performance of.  Except she was the cop this time!  You know my thoughts, her (fake) buck teeth jutted out so much when looking at Derek that I couldn’t even concentrate on the dance.  Don’t worry, I know — I’m a judgmental biotch.  I don’t think Steve-o was that bad actually so it’s sad that he is in the bottom as usual.  My guess is the fans will save him from the bottom 2 as usual, and if he’s in it.  I doubt that judge favorites Shawn, Gilles, Lil’ Kim and Melissa won’t be there!  Tonight was the DWTS results show for week 6 and I have all the details…. but beware that all the spoilers are down below.

I accidentally just caught a tidbit of the Disney-esque group dance and it was obnoxious to say the least.  Man, I hate those special performances they do.  And we will have that to look forward to from the stars next week along with the professionals.  I have a feeling my darling Ty will be in the bottom this week, and I’m worried if he’s competing with Steve-o that he won’t come out on top.  Heeeeelp, I would need a new favorite!  Oh no, I didn’t realize that there won’t be a dance-off this week.  We’re really getting down to the bottom now and will soon be eliminating even the great dancers.

Fast & Furious: Brazilian Speed Racer

I made that title up.  I have absolutely not one shred of evidence that the 5th Fast and Furious movie will be called Fast & Furious: Brazilian Speed Racer.  I do have evidence that there will be a 5th movie, though.  And for that reason I think we should all rejoice.  As will the studio: this movie was the biggest opening weekend in history for an April premiere.  Although the budget was $85 mill and they wrecked hundreds of cars over the course of filming.

Big Fat Loser April 7, 2009

One of my husband’s bosses accidentally referred to The Biggest Loser that way in the office (in front of overweight coworkers nonetheless).  Awk-ward!!!  Tuesday night’s episode left one person in total control of the game with a golden ticket buried under either healthy or unhealthy foods.  We learned that cupcakes are 520 calories (whoa, not good) but it’s worth it to each contestant if they can win the only vote in the elimination.  These peeps guzzled calories like it’s their career aspiration.  Kristen plays it smart when she figures out that the vote is only good for a person under the yellow line, and eating shit is a sure way to get there.  It took them more than 80/100 trays to get to the end, which seems awfully convenient.  Could it have been staged so that they were forced to eat their way through all of it?

What else happened on Big Fat Loser?  Click in and you can read aaaaaall about it.