DVR Diva

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Say It With Me Now — WTF, MTV? May 31, 2009

Filed under: Entertainment — thedogwoodtree @ 8:35 pm
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The MTV Movie Awards this year were beyond lame.  After the first Twilight award was handed out, it became immediately clear that they were going to sweep.  That Kristen Stewart acted like a total cunt, and yes, Robert Pattinson has great hair and a lovely British accent.  We know, we fucking know.  But really, did every 17-year-old girl in America vote for that damn movie?  I must be the only female below the age of 25 out there who wasn’t obsessed with the books and I never even saw the movie.

Couple of quick things: was the Eminem/Bruno spat real?  Obviously Eminem stormed out, but was he in on it?  I vote no, because I don’t think he would have been willing to participate in having a man’s bare ass literally on his face.

Second, Zac Efron needed to do some hair sweeping.  Swinging your head violently to the right results in your hair looking like that, Zac.  Brush it.  Swipe at it with your hand.  Or better yet, get a goddamn haircut.  You’re starting to look like Cindy Crawford’s son.

Andy Samberg?  Not that great.  Sarah Silverman did it sooo much better.  I say they have the cast of Gossip Girl host next year.  At least then we wouldn’t have to see Leann Rimes.  I hope.

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Finale Schminale, Hills Season 6 Is Where It’s At

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:01 pm
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the end of LC's reality reign

the end of LC's reality reign

Rounding out the end of an eventful season, Spencer has upped his acting chops and really wants people to believe he’s a new person.  Brody, for one, is not playing along, but at least he brought his eye candy to Spencer and Heidi’s wedding.  By eye candy, I don’t mean his current girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, cuz that bitch is feinous.  I mean his old one, Kristin Cavallari, back in business and ready for the fun to begin.

Not sure if it was MTV or my DVR, but my audio was all jacked up, going in and out towards the end of the episode and cutting out most of the sneak peek at season 6, returning this fall.  Even with visuals, though, it promises to be delightful.  Of interest: this Stacie character WILL be back.  Recently saw a still of filming on perezhilton and noticed that laughing over lunch next to Kristin was Stacie herself.  Anyone else on board that Stacie was probably part of this crowd long before she was cast to play the role of homewrecker?

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First Piece of Hate Mail May 27, 2009

Filed under: Entertainment — thedogwoodtree @ 2:08 pm

Which means I must be doing something right! 

Meg kindly sent me this comment about Daisy of Love and my post entitled Daisy of Disaster:

12 pack said that about “man” thing about New York.  Idiot. If you don’t like a show, don’t watch it. Why waste your time writing about it?? Get a life.

 

In an open letter to Meg, I can now say:

Dear Meg,

If you don’t like my blog, why read it?  Don’t sit around wasting time and drafting a response about it.  You get a life!  At least I’m sharing my wealth of knowledge with the world.  What are you doing?  Sitting around criticizing bloggers over a post about fucking Daisy of Love?  Second of all, your grammar was incorrect.  The phrase “said that about man thing about” makes no sense whatsoever.  So who really is the idiot here? 

 

For the record, perhaps I made a mistake when I said that 12 Pack thought Daisy looked like a man.  Maybe he was talking about New York.  I misunderstood.  Which is easy to do when you’re feverishly typing while the show is playing.  And I do loooove the show and all the glory is brings to my Sunday morning, happily perched on my couch knowing that my life will always be better because I’ve never been a contestant on a VH1 dating show.  And that’s why I blog about it.  OK, Meg? 

 

If you’d all like to email Meg and tell her YOUR thoughts on my blog, please feel free to do so at: Meg101589@gmail.com

 

Kisses!

 

Real Housewives New Jersey Quote-Back May 26, 2009

Filed under: Bravo,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 7:22 pm
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Teresa

“I’m not a stage mom.”  — Okay, Teresa.  Whatever you say.

“Gia, I don’t want your hair to get frizzy…Gia’s photo shoot was practically a celebrity’s photo shoot…Smile with your eyes…Look up, attitude…Twist this hand like this and this underneath…The pictures look phenomenal.”  — Now that sounds about right.  Her daughter’s on track now with Wilhelmina Modeling and I’m sure Teresa being a crazy controlling attention whore for her and her kid had nothing to do with that.

“I wanted to tell Jacqueline about Gia’s modeling contract and now Danielle had to come along and ruin it.”  — Ha ha, drama queen says whaaaaat?

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Daisy of Death, Week Whatever

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:23 am
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Catching up on the newest episode of Daisy of Love, I was frightened for some lives.  You’ve seen it.  The scene where 6 Gauge and Cage get into it, after Cage burns Flex’s hand with a laurel from Fox’s odd Greek makeout sesh with Daisy, and after waaaaay too many drinks on Cage’s behalf and even some public urination.  Directly before Elim Cer (I’m abbreviating, bitches), Cage decides to kill Flex and I think he means it.  They both want to whollop one another and that’s all good, but how about you NOT come all the way to romance Daisy in the Faux Fur and Animal Print Mansion to do it?  I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s back up.

 

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Spencer Pratt is Capable of Self-Reflection

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:08 am
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female-short-hairstyles-12The newest episode of the Hills brought surprises and disappointment my way.  First, I’m both surprised and disappointed that Spencer tried a new route and actually did something somewhat decent by apologizing to Lauren; then again, anything in the name of a few extra dineros and a free wedding.  That Monique Lhullier dress Heidi decided on?  A cool $19k.  My wedding cost half as much as her dress and I got married on a private island… Shit, my wedding cost half as much as Heidi’s yearly plastic surgery bill. 

 

Moving along.  Jayde Nicole is such an ugly bitch, in looks and even more so in personality.  Her hard “I wanna break a bottle and slash her face” business was ridiculous at best.  That dress she was wearing?  Embarrassing.  And the fact that she wants to constantly point a finger at Audrina but not once has Brody been punished for his part in the cheating actions is typical and makes her look like just another dumb girl.  Good riddance, Audrina.  You don’t need to be friends with someone like Brody anyway who will throw you under the bus once he’s banged you! 

 

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Joisey Girls Don’t Disappoint Me May 20, 2009

Filed under: Bravo,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 5:01 pm
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I guess Bethenny has been blogging the new season of Housewives right alongside me, and need I say that my insights are clearly superior to hers?  Yes, she has biting wit and analogies aplenty, but I have those as well.  And a degree in English to boot.  Now that I’ve told you how great I am, let’s talk about the real deal.  Those Housewives of New Jersey and their latest behavior aboard the nutty train. 

8333~Fifties-Housewife-Posters

 

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