You know footage must be at a minimum and the season almost over when you take so many drama whore castmates going to Playa del Carmen, Vegas, and jail — and still have it be as dull as tonight’s episode of Real World Cancun. Let’s recap:
— Bronne and CJ invent a girl named Lauren who they tell Joey replaced him in the house. They convince Joey that she’s banging hot and really chill. The relevance isn’t apparent until we see a preview for next week’s finale, when Joey returns to the ME to bid adieu along with the rest of the crew.
— Some guy talks shit to Derek on the bus, so CJ punches him. The next day, the accuser points him out and he’s taken to jail for a supposedly 36-hour stay, but they bail him out with 1800 pesos. Anticlamactic…
— The guys go to Vegas for CJ’s NFL punting tryouts (or something). We don’t see them gambling at all, but supposedly they win $200. Upon their return, Emilee gets jealous that she’s never been to Vegas, so she tap dances on Bronne’s zombie magazine, which causes him to call Ayiiia “Hitler” and Emilee “Mussolini”. I don’t even know how that comparison was drawn but it seemed very out of place with the rest of the episode. Emilee: need I remind you that you’re on a 4-month-long free vacation staying in an amazing suite in Cancun? So what if you haven’t been to Vegas, you stupid twat.
— Jonna’s man-hungry ways are put under a microscope. The girl’s a fucking slut — an insecure, immature slut who needs the companionship of a male to feel loved. Does the situation require much more explanation than that?
Nothing else from this episode comes to mind. The finale next week hopefully includes better footage than what we saw tonight. Oh yeah, Bronne made a zombie video where he played all the parts. Apparently it can be seen on mtv.com.
Next week: Joey comes back and hooks up with a roommate. It’s probably Jonna (she likee the peen) but I’m thinking Emilee’s a good possibility too!