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Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut, Sometimes You Are One August 27, 2009

Filed under: Bravo,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 9:06 pm


Oh, poor Kandi.  She hasn’t seen through the glossy veneer of Kim’s overly lined lips, blindingly white teeth, and acrylic wig just yet.  Did anyone else notice how sparkling her teeth were, and the blatant Crest White Strips commercial?  It was almost as obvious as Kandi and Kim, the clear outsiders, clinging to one another like goners on a sinking ship.  Except they’re on a different ship than the rest of these women.  It’s called The Silly Dreamer and there needs to be a flare gun going off portside any moment.

Kandi wrote a song inspired by Kim about haters.  Of course people are haters.  The nicest thing anyone could say about Kim is that she’s a complete dumbass with pretty teeth.  I don’t even need to spend time ripping on her because anyone who has seen 5 minutes of this show knows what I’m talking about.  If the other women on the show are so bad, Kim doesn’t need to spend an entire meal trying to turn Kandi against them — let her find out for herself.



Even Rebecca Romijn Can’t Fire Up This Runway

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:49 pm

project-runwayTonight’s episode of Project Runway was one of the most dull things I have ever watched.  I could barely make it through the episode without having to peel my eyes open.

I had a problem with all the designers, particularly the men, calling it a “pregnancy challenge”.  No one is asking you to give birth, they’re asking you to design maternity wear.  That does not involve Lamaze classes, breast pumps, or sagging tits, so let’s not refer to it as a pregnancy challenge any longer.

And a challenge it was.  The challenge was trying to give a damn as the designers dressed models with the most insanely ridiculous baby bumps you have ever seen grace a mannequin, much less a praying mantis of a woman.  I’m so over it I’ll just give the end away — that weird Asian guy with the bizarro hairdo went home for creating something that was supposed to represent a chicken’s nest….?  Shiri (can’t recall name, don’t have energy to look up) won for her gorgeous dress and coat combo.

I just want to get this group down to about 10 really good designers so I don’t have to memorize the names of the people inevitably disappointing me and then going home.  So far, Lifetime can have Project Runway.  What they paid for is no prize.


What’s on Tonight: Thursday, 8/27

Filed under: Bravo,News Feed,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 9:13 am
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It’s my favorite night of television until Brothers & Sisters, Dexter, and Desperate Housewives begin on Sunday, September 27 (that’s right, that means only one month to go). 

Tonight’s roster includes:


More fabulous guest stars (even though Lindsay Lohan wasn’t all that fab) will be gracing our screens soon.  Not sure if tonight is one of those nights but I look forward to finding out.  Kind of fun to travel back in time by 14 months and see Heidi pre-baby bump.  Must be hard to be the winner of this season and keep that secret for so long! 



All things Nene Leakes!  Lisa threatens to rip off Kim’s wig AND eyebrows!  Kandi writes a song “inspired” by Kim!  Nene and Lisa travel to LA to visit Lisa’s family!  The number of exclamation points should give it away; I am downright excited to cozy up to my television tonight with a full glass of Riesling.  I kind of promised my husband I’d make dinner but once that’s done I’ll be having a serious relationship with my flat screen.


Gambling with Their Futures on Top Chef Las Vegas August 26, 2009

Filed under: Bravo,Cooking,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:25 pm


The quickfire challenge tonight involved rolling the die and whatever number you roll is the amount of ingredients you get to use (excluding oil, salt, and pepper as options).  Michael V, one of the two brother competing against one another, wins.  His brother, unfortunately, is in the bottom 2.  Guest judge was Todd English. 


When the challenge itself is presented I am immediately annoyed by lezzie Ashley bemoaning the fact that 3 contestants are gay and have no rights to marry but have been asked to do essentially a wedding challenge.  This is a goddamn TV show where you’re competing for cash prizes and an opportunity to open your own restaurant — do we really have to take away from all of that while you bitch that you’re not allowed equal rights?  I understand the argument, I just don’t think it holds merit on a reality TV show like Top Chef Las Vegas.  It’s a cooking show, people.  Not a political platform.   




Real World Cancun: Threesomes to Hang-Ups in 2 Days

Filed under: Uncategorized — thedogwoodtree @ 7:25 pm
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For Jonna, her life on Real World Cancun is kind of like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days but she’s doing all the things you’re supposed to do in order to keep a man on the hook.  Then again, she kind of gave away the milk for free…


 Let’s look at the facts:


 – She breaks up with her boyfriend, Matt, to hook up with Pat and not feel guilty about it.  Matt tells her that she is soulless.  She doesn’t care because she’s living it up with dudes on the reg.  She has Derek help her remove all evidence of her and Matt’s relationship from her room so when Pat looks up while he’s banging her, he no longer sees her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend staring down at him.  Most of the roommates support her to her face but make fun of her behind her back, saying she’s ruined a good thing for a douche like Pat.


— Ayiiia decides she wants Jonna and manages to finagle her way into a threesome with her and Pat.  He’s (obviously) totally down, but both girls regret it afterwards for various reasons.  Pat leaves the next day to return to Toronto.  She says she doesn’t know where things will go from here but that she’s questioning whether she had real feelings for him. 


— Somewhere in the midst of this, an extremely awkward double date takes place with JR, Jasmine, Jonna, and Pat.  Emilee plays the role of 5th wheel/referee as Pat and Jasmine make inappropriately rude statements to one another all throughout what looked to be a lovely rustic Italian feast. 




What’s on Tonight: Wednesday, 8/26

Filed under: Entertainment,News Feed — thedogwoodtree @ 7:17 am
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The chefs continue scorching up the kitchen, and there’s big stuff to be won this season — they compete not only for immunity and prizes, but $10,000 casino chips to boot.  I have a feeling that things will only get more heated as the season goes on since a lot is at stake throughout the season and not just for the winner. 



I figured out why I write about this show — it’s because people like reading about it.  Generally I try to entertain the masses and obviously I prefer to write about shows I’m passionate about (which doesn’t include this one, I know it’s a surprise) but day after day this blog comes up on search hits for Real World.  Tonight we will witness a threesome between Jonna, Pat, and Ayiiia, I do believe.  Should be a real doozy of an episode.


Movie Review of The Time Traveler’s Wife August 25, 2009

Filed under: Entertainment,News Feed — thedogwoodtree @ 9:00 am
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Everyone said they had chemistry, but I didn’t see it.  No man can ever compete with Ryan Gosling when it comes to the “chemistry with Rachel McAdams” department. 


In every aspect of this film, they tried really hard to make the storyline work, but it just didn’t.  Not only did it lull, but there was so much flashing back and forth it could give a person whiplash.  And most of all, you just didn’t care if they made it or not.  I can’t even count on two hands the number of times my friend turned to me and whispered ‘Where is this going?’  And the answer was: nowhere.