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WHOOPS! Last Night… September 16, 2009

Filed under: News Feed,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 6:28 am
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I didn’t watch Biggest Loser.  I was so busy with the 2nd disc of Friday Night Lights that I spaced, and it turns out my DVR didn’t pick it up.  And you know what, I really see it as a sign.  I didn’t really want to watch it anyway, and once I miss the first episode of something I rarely try to play “catch up” after that. 

 

So, strike Biggest Loser recaps and feedback from this blog, unless I have a volunteer to write the posts and send them to me. 

 

Moving forward with Biggest Loser next season and the one after that and so on, I don’t want to hear “the biggest contestant yet” in promos for upcoming seasons anymore — this says nothing except that people are allowing themselves to get more and more grossly obese and I don’t find that to be something I want to tune in for.  Frankly, it’s just gross.

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Putting the Premieres Into One Post July 9, 2009

How does that sound?  I can’t keep bouncing back and forth talking about all the different networks and the offerings they will soon have for us, so I’m putting all MY shows (and some that I know are favorites but that I personally don’t watch) down right now.

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Go Weight Loss Go Weight Loss Go May 12, 2009

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:47 pm
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helen-phillips

There was a lot of shit to muddle through in the 3-hour season finale of The Biggest Loser, and since I stayed out drinking wine until 10pm, I didn’t have time for all that crap.  Needless to say, I did a LOT of zooming on the recording.  The first standout was old-timer Jerry, who lost almost 48% of his total body weight.  For the oldest contestant ever on the show, I can’t even say how impressed I am.  Also, we’re still waiting to find out who’s in the bottom 3 between Ron and Mike.  Pray for your sakes that it’s Mike because I warned everyone that I would hunt them down if Ron somehow got it.  Don’t let me down, America!

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Put These Former Fatsos on Plane, Train, and Automobile May 5, 2009

Filed under: Primetime,Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 7:02 pm
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fat-man-foodThat’s right, they’re headed home.  This is where we figure out how determined each of them really is.  My prediction?  Well, it’s the same one I have every week…that shithead Ron will finally fail and we can put the masterminding and undermining to an end and let this game play out as it should — between TRUE competitors who have lost the most weight rather than those “playing the game.”  Ron is physically unable to even participate in the majority of what they do in the challenges or with the trainers.  He doesn’t care about winning, he is only here to try to get his son through to the end.  I bet he can’t even do yoga — and yoga is stretching.  I can say that because I regularly do yoga.  But I am a lithe fighting machine, not a fat-eating machine (ok that’s a real exaggeration on my part).

Even after watching many seasons of this show, I cannot fathom the idea that it’s possible to weigh over 200 lbs.  Shit, I can’t fathom weighing over 120 lbs (I’m just a little guy, nobody send me hate comments please).  But I’m being honest.  It’s so irresponsible, gluttonous, and disgusting to allow yourself the sheer freedom of getting this big.  A survey recently came out saying that by 2030, if current trends continue, 86.3% adults will be overweight or obese.  And you know what?  I’m here to say that just ain’t right.  Enough of this “embrace your curves” mentality.  Being curvaceous and being just plain fucking fat are different things.  Let’s all keep that in mind.  And I will now step down off my soapbox.  I’ll try to curb my swearing, too, but I’m not making any promises because this show is infuriating.

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Big Fat Loser Finally Cutting Some Fat April 21, 2009

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 9:47 pm
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the-biggest-loserTaking over from last week, when Kristen was saved.  The contestants are finally realizing that the brown team of Ron and Mike poses a threat.  I have never seen so many fat, whiny bitches in any one place.  Where else would they congregate, I wonder?  Perhaps Weight Watchers or fat camp?  Everyone’s all, “Ohhhh, I may not win.  I better just give up.  But I’m worthy of it.  I could win.  Do I want to win?”  Why did you come on this show if you’re still questioning everything so much after hundreds of pounds and now into your sixteenth week?  It is beyond me.  I think their accomplishments are amazing, don’t get me wrong, but the self-doubt followed so closely by self-congratulatory pats on the back scatters my brain.

They’re doing a Fitness and Food Trivia.  A trip for 2 to NYC is up for grabs.  One interesting question is: Which fat is heart healthiest to cook in — butter, olive oil, vegetable oil, trans fat free margarine?  The answer is olive oil because it’s the purest and cleanest.  Ron is the only one who gets it wrong.  Which explains how he got to be the fat bastard he is today.  Mike and Kristin were tied after 3 questions, and had to guess calories in a fried fish sandwich with tartar sauce. Mike won by guessing only 5 calories off, which is amazing!  Kristin is so bitter which makes it an even sweeter victory.

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Big Fat Loser Is Back April 14, 2009

Filed under: Reality — thedogwoodtree @ 8:21 pm
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weight-problems

More importantly, I’m back, blogging Week 14.  And the contestants are getting makeovers!  This week begins with Filipe and Kristen talking about destroying Jillian’s team, something which in the history of the show has never been done.  Jillian has had the winning contestant every single season.  But let ’em try!  I love Bob, but he obviously doesn’t push to the degree that Jillian does.  I think he deserves a win, too, but he can earn it.  In the first 3 minutes, we see the next challenge: cross a canyon on two cables, ten stories high, 700 feet across, attached to a zipline.  The winner will receive a $20,000 kitchen makeover and re-stock with healthy items.  I want that prize and I’m not overweight.  Big Fat Loser, can you find me and my kitchen please?  Big surprise, shitty Ron quit after 40 feet.  He’s “worried about his knee”.  Geez, I feel soooo bad for him.  GO HOME ALREADY!  Jesus, Tara wins again.  She is unstoppable and it makes me want to vomit.  So over it.  Can’t someone beat her already?!  It’s as if no one else is even playing this game.  On a happy note, I saw Nicole on US Weekly’s new cover, and she’s lost 107 lbs!  A big improvement from her 5 lb. weight gain, and I’m happy to note it’s something I predicted.  I’m pegging her as our at-home winner.

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Big Fat Loser April 7, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thedogwoodtree @ 7:00 pm
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One of my husband’s bosses accidentally referred to The Biggest Loser that way in the office (in front of overweight coworkers nonetheless).  Awk-ward!!!  Tuesday night’s episode left one person in total control of tscale1he game with a golden ticket buried under either healthy or unhealthy foods.  We learned that cupcakes are 520 calories (whoa, not good) but it’s worth it to each contestant if they can win the only vote in the elimination.  These peeps guzzled calories like it’s their career aspiration.  Kristen plays it smart when she figures out that the vote is only good for a person under the yellow line, and eating shit is a sure way to get there.  It took them more than 80/100 trays to get to the end, which seems awfully convenient.  Could it have been staged so that they were forced to eat their way through all of it?

What else happened on Big Fat Loser?  Click in and you can read aaaaaall about it.

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